By Julie Holmes
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| overly used / New |
Artists can be the most self critical people. We have such high expectations, lofty
aspirations and a keen eye for the off kilter.
Turned inward, that eye can be brutal.
Are we sometimes much too quick to judge ourselves? I think so.
I’m 53, so when the grains of enamel started showing up on the wrong
side of the wire, it’s my eyes. Poor
eyesight. Got to be. Or…maybe, it’s the hands. That’s it.
The tremors of old age are setting in.
It always works to blame the parents. You know, the ones that grew up in the
depression and taught me not to waste, not to spend, not to buy a new $2.00
paintbrush in order not to ruin a $200.00 cloisonné. That might work, except they don’t know
anything about making cloisonné. All I
know is I broke out a new brush and the
grains of enamel started behaving better.
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| done in class / done in studio (Click to enlarge) |
Then there were the black dots. They started invading and I blamed myself. I had learned to use a dedicated brush for
black enamel. I had become lax in my
practices. It had to be grains of black
enamel stuck in my brush and making it their dastardly mission to destroy my
perfectionistic perfectionism. Why had I
suddenly entered what will become known as my “black dot period” after my
death? Well, it turns out the black dots
only show up on pieces I made during a “glass on copper” class using the
community kilns. I assume it may have
been airborne bits of their scalex, or maybe just airborne firescale ...or the
black dot fiend that hid under the table and threw black dots at my work when I
wasn’t looking. All I know is I figured out it never
happened to pieces I made in my own studio.
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And sometimes in our efforts not to be perfectionists…we
aren’t imperfect enough. This was to be
an asymmetrical piece. The shape drawn
free-hand to be as carefree as the subject matter, only it wasn’t off kilter
enough. My son said it looked like I had
tried to make it symmetrical and failed miserably. So instead of looking cool and artsy…it just
looked sloppy. All I know is we are all
human, and humans aren’t symmetrical either...and I like this piece anyway.
My point is, don’t assume YOU are the reason something
didn’t turn out. Check the expiration
date, see if the temperature setting has changed, check the weather, your
astrological chart and the moon phase. And sometimes, when the results turn out
wrong, but unsuspectingly, happily magical, just be grateful that you were born
with the desire to be creative and are here today to witness and take the blame
for your own perfect genius.
